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I Vant to Drink Your... Catsup!
by ELIZABETH DONALD
June 30, 2010
Apparently, the stars
of the new TWILIGHT movie are Edward, Bella, Jacob... and the World's
Largest Catsup Bottle.
Okay, it was probably just a throwaway line to screenwriter Melissa
Rosenberg, who adapted Stephanie Meyer's ECLIPSE to the big screen. But
according to CultureGeek's spies - they're everywhere - the local movie
theater went beserk at one point during the movie.
Independently confirmed from multiple CultureSpies: while looking over
a quilt sewn with memories from their many travels, Bella's mother
suggests that they visit the World's Largest Catsup Bottle.
For those of you not indigenous to the metro-east, you know that
Collinsville is the home of the World's Largest Catsup Bottle. Oh, you
can argue about the electronic Heinz bottles over that stadium in
Pittsburgh, but the last I looked, an electronic representation of a
catsup bottle can't be compared to the 170-foot former water tower that
stands over Route 159.
Catsup bottle fan club president and self-described "Big Tomato" Mike
Gassmann said his daughter called him at 2 a.m. to squee about the
catsup bottle's mention.
While I am personally no big fan of the sparklepires - see my previous
reviews for details - it is nice to see our favorite condiment get such
a prominent mention. No word yet on whether the three stars might drop
by the Catsup Bottle Birthday Bash next month.
Whether or not I personally like the sparklepires, I cannot deny the
massive cultural phenomenon they have become. Adults, tweens, boys and
girls, the most unlikely candidates have confessed their fondness for
this series in such numbers that I feel I shall have to give it another
shot. Since the new movie is touted as "inspired by" the book and has a
new director with a "darker feel," I might be shocked into... liking it.
But don't bet the Transylvanian castle on that one.
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